Wife of the Year

Sometimes, I am not a great wife. This story will illustrate that.

A few Saturdays ago, I was trying to quickly get out of the house to meet up with friends for a multi-family garage sale. My hubby was going to stay home with the kids so I could make us the big bucks selling all our junk. 

 As I was about to run out the door, I heard him call out, "Is that poop on the wall?"

I heard him walk down the hall, presumably to get the paper away from Grant that he was eating and went over to see for myself.

I quickly saw, that it was indeed, poop. I saw Jace sitting closely by. I picked him up and instantly smelled that he was the likely culprit.

And then I ran out the back door. 

Shopping used to be fun...

Shopping alone is boring. When I go to the store now, I make sure to bring my kids. This ensures that I won't spend extra time browsing (which in turn means spending extra money), that one of my kids will be crying and a selfless customer will let us cut to the front of the line and that people will go home praying for a frazzled mom and her cute kids.
 One of my favorite shopping experiences was this past fall. We were having friends over to carve pumpkins. Last minute, I decided I wanted to run to the grocery store and grab a couple of bottles of wine for the party.
  Unfortunately, I mean luckily, Bryan was at basketball practice, so I had to was able to bring all three kids with me.  However, I wasn't too worried, it was going to be a quick trip.
 I unloaded our massive double stroller from the van and loaded it up with the boys. I held Cami's hand and awkwardly pushed the beastly stroller across the parking lot. When we got inside the store, I hustled us over to the wine, grabbed a couple bottles and started making my way to the check out line.
 Things were going surprisingly well, but they almost instantly turned bad. Cami wrenched free from me and ran toward the candy stand next to the register, Jace started crying and Grant took it to the next level by doing a little screaming over Jace's cries.
 I looked around apologetically, rushed over to Cami and told her we weren't having candy today. She decided to act her age and laid on the floor kicking, screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the boys also continued to cry. Looking like "Mom-of-the-year" with screaming kids and only bottles of wine in my basket, I threw them  down on the counter (don't worry, they didn't break. They were plastic...we're classy like that) and tried to pay and get out of there as quickly as I could.
 A lady behind me, who had been observing the excitement, came up to me and whispered in my ear, "We started drinking when we had kids too...Are you sure that is enough?"
 I smiled and instantly laughed, feeling much better about the entertainment I had just provided the customers at Fresh & Easy.

I didn't think it was funny then, but...

And, I am back in the blogging world! For now...

Lately, I have had a lot of moments that at the time, really did not seem so funny. But looking back, I realized they may have been slightly humorous.

I thought I would share a few:

* Cami running up and down the aisle during the Christmas Eve children's message. My favorite part in particular was when she saw Bryan stand up and started to hold her bootie as she quickly high-tailed it  back to the stage so that she wouldn't get the spanking that she thought was coming. At least she looked cute in her new Christmas dress from Grandma.

* Forgetting to fill up the diaper bag with usual things that fill diaper bags like spare clothes and,well, diapers, thus leaving poor Grant pantless on New Year's Eve and Jace wearing a pink princess pull-up at the doctor's office.

* We took our youth group to Six Flags over Christmas break. Since the boys are still nursing,  I brought along my pump. Unfortunately, I forgot a couple key pieces to the pump. So, I had to take things into my own hands...literally...over the toilet...multiple times.  Bryan said I had never looked so proud.

* My dad came over to watch the boys so I could finish getting ready for a wedding last Saturday. I had  managed do my make-up and curl my hair before he got there. However, it must not have looked as good as I thought, because when my dad walked in, I was greeted with "Oh man, do you still have to shower?"

* Wearing what I thought was a cute outfit, only to have students tell me I looked like a horse jockey. Looking down at my clothes I realized...they were right. I decided to respond by letting them know  Smartie Jones was waiting for me in the teacher's parking lot.

Ahh...life is good.